At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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