Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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