Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
