i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
