I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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