so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
