you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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