i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
