So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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