pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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