I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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