That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
