Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
