I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My balls are so social today.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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