I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I party with great urgency now.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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