apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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