i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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