Your tits are I can't wait for
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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