Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
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