Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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