so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
