we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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