suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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