if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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