I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
