it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
