I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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