Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
