Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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