I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
