I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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