He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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