And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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