Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
