How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
