addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize