How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
