Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
