woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
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She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
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I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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