this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
