My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
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