I think I died a long time ago.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
