Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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