Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
