and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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