I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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