lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
