Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
