u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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