Dual....:-)
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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