I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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