I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
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It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
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It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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