i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
