bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
