is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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