i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
