Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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