I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
