So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
