i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
