I want to walk on stilts...naked
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
