my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
