I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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